A Parent's Worst Nightmare
**Warning: The following post is not for the weak!**
Aside from the death of my children, any major illnesses, or being abducted there's basically one thing I don't want to experience as a parent. Unfortunately for me (as Kev completely lucked out on this one) this experience occurred tonight.
I had just finished putting the kids in the bathtub and was going to let them play for a few minutes. During this time, I was checking my email and reading up on some triathlon news. Then I hear it....my 5-year old daughter starts yelling for me...."Mommy!!! Andrew pooped in the bathtub!! It is disgusting!"
Of course my first reaction is, "Jordan, are you serious?" as if she would lie about something like poop in the bathtub. I calmly walk to the bathroom and peek around the door hoping that it's just one floater that can be quickly scooped out (with a cup and gloves that come up to my elbows). Nope. Of course this would NOT be my luck.
I then proceed quickly to get the kids out of the tub and start draining the water. After it starts draining the thought occurs, what happens if the drain gets clogged? Oh well, I will deal with that if need be. So now I have to somehow re-clean the kids. The bathroom sink, yes! I will just put Drew in the sink run some water and wash him off with some soap, perfect. Ok, where's Drew? He's running around the house naked. I suppose the possibility of him dropping a deuce on the living room floor is pretty much zero since he cleaned out in the tub....but I don't want to chance it. I chase him down and go to put him in the bathroom sink only to find out he doesn't fit in it. Has it been that long since he was taking his baths in the sink?? Damn....I need a bigger sink....off to the kitchen! Finally, I was able to lather him up really good and I only pray that he got clean.
As for Jordan, she got to wash off in our shower. (We just have a stall shower, no tub.)
As for the bath tub....it's getting a major bleaching. Jordan and Drew don't know this yet, but by the time they wake up in the morning all bath time toys associated with this disaster will be in the trash.
As for me, I think I am experiencing post-traumatic stress. Maybe an apple martini will help....yes, good idea.